APFM Library
Over the years APFM has published hosts of articles related to family mediation. Whether you are a family mediator, or a member of the public interested in mediation, we hope you enjoy!
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Throwback Thursdays
June 2024 Throwback: “Why Divorce Does Not Belong In the Court System,” by Steve Erickson
“Most critics of our present adversarial family law system focus on the overly aggressive family law attorney who uses sharp tactics and hostile methods of representation, thereby aggravating an already difficult situation. They suggest that we should somehow find a way to reign in these few rogue family law gladiators (they exist in every community) and perhaps use more ADR procedures, or other early intervention steps to avoid trial, such as early case conferences with the judge or more involvement of parenting consultants, guardians ad litem, and a host of others in an effort to humanize and streamline the legal system as it serves families in crisis.”
This article was originally published in The Professional Family Mediator, Spring 2013.
March 2024 Throwback: “DIVORCE MEDIATION: A HOUSE DIVIDED”, By Lenard Marlow
“The early settlers who founded divorce mediation came from many backgrounds. Many came from the mental health field. That was understandable. It was mental health professionals, charged with the responsibility of picking up the pieces of families after lawyers got through with them, who had seen the damage caused by adversarial divorce proceedings, first hand. Then, too, there were lawyers, slowly in the early years, but increasingly so as time went by. That was understandable as well. After all, there was a significant legal piece in divorce mediation. The subject matter that would make up the bulk of the mediation (decisions relating to child support, maintenance, the division of property, etc.) were necessarily affected by the law. Then too, the parties’ ultimate agreement had to be reduced to a written legal document. Finally, the parties’ divorce necessarily involved the law and the courts.”
Article originally published in The Professional Family Mediator, Spring/Summer, 2013.
January 2024 Throwback: “Development of Kinship Titles for Step-Family Members” by Jocelyn Metsch
“In his epic play of Romeo and Juliette, Shakespeare’s character Romeo, once professed the famous words, “A rose by any other name, would smell as sweet.” Though poetic and thoughtful, given the context of the play, I have to say Shakespeare had it all wrong. The importance of language and its pragmatics have historically been given much weight, and the trend continues today. We see instances, especially in the political sphere, in which using the right word e.g., the known politically correct term, makes all the difference in conveying a non-pejorative appellation. The importance of language in politics parallels its importance in family life, especially when considering kinship titles. There is a similarity in the way that politicians and family members consciously understand the importance and use of language. Family relationships are commonly defined and understood through the title of each member. The implication of family kinship titles often conveys an understanding of a member’s general role, authority, and responsibility within the family unit itself.”
Article first published in 2013.
September 2023 Throwback: “In the Beginning” by Chip Rose
“On a number of past occasions, I have written … about the beginning of the process and how it informs as to the end. Those discourses have, for the most part, focused on the critical elements that need to be put in place at the beginning of the mediation process in order to achieve the client objectives at the end of the process. There is a necessary precondition to that first session that deserves some attention, and that is the initial consultation. The real beginning, if you will.“
Article first published by APFM in August 2016.
June 2023 Throwback: “The First Standard of Practice: The Genius of Self-Determination, Or, It’s a Fine Line” by Steve Erickson
Professional Family Mediation is not about adjudication, evaluation of who has a stronger or weaker case, coercion, or predictions of outcomes if the case goes to court. It focuses on the self-determination of the parties. The answers and the solutions to the conflict are found, not by the mediator, but by the parties themselves who hire the mediator.
Article first published by APFM in September 2016.
Articles for Mediators
Articles for Everyone
APFM Newsletter (2012-2017)
Most Recent Articles
Prenups Don’t Scream Romance
By Amanda Singer | Prenuptial agreements (prenups) don’t scream romance — probably the last thing that you want to think about when planning a wedding — but smart folks create them.
Your Child’s Graduation After a Divorce
By Virginia Colin | Separate celebrations with two sides of a divorced family get old for some kids and some young adults. Can co-parents celebrate together?
It’s Not Just the Romance that Makes a Marriage Special
By Larry Gaughan | By Larry Gaughan | Sharing, listening, dividing responsibilities fairly, and negotiating are all included in a healthy marriage.
Recognizing Children’s Divorce Behavior Can Prevent Custody Battles
By Michael Aurit, JD, MDR | Parents often misinterpret the ways children act during divorce. These misunderstandings can lead to destructive custody battles. Mediation is constructive.
10 Ways To Keep Your (Re) Marriage Alive And Well
By Vicki Shemin | Keeping a marriage strong requires attention and thought. Sometimes marriage mediation to manage difficult issues provides crucial help.
How To Use Social Media for Fun, Learning, and Profit
By Virginia Colin | For mediators, social media provide opportunities to educate the public and talk with colleagues. Sometimes you get free advertising.